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#011 – Email teardown: CaseWave

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#011 – Email teardown: CaseWave

August 30, 2017

Hey folks, today we are doing another email teardown. This time we wanted to share a cold email that we had to rewrite completely as it had so many things wrong.

Here it is:

Subject: Looking to connect

Kevin from CaseWave <john.powell@casewave.intercom-mail.com>

Jack,

My name is Kevin, I hold an MBA in marketing analytics, and I found your company because I was looking for firms that might want to provide marketing funnels for their clients.

Thank you for your time, I will be brief. I work with companies like CaseWave and set up automated sales funnels to increase their conversion rates and profits.

Put simply, I can save your clients (or your firm) thousands on their marketing spend by providing automated, custom-designed marketing funnels with 1:1 personalization.

For example, I recently increased {example company}’s conversion rate by 400% by integrating cart abandonment, viral marketing components, behavior-based email automation triggers, and retention campaigns.

I am gathering testimonials before launching publicly, so if you are interested in moving forward, you will only pay $750 for an entire campaign. That offer expires on 06/22/17.

Typical uplift is 20-30%. The automation systems increase conversions and nurture prospects by sending the perfect messages at the right time – across every channel.

Are you free today for a quick chat?  Thank you again for your time.

– Kevin

Kevin Powell, CTO

{Phone number}

 

After analyzing the elements of this email, we transformed it from grade D+ to A, and we’re sharing this process with you. Tune in now to hear the re-written version!

 

Transformed email:

Subject: {Competitor} case study?

Jack,

I found your company because I was looking for agencies that might want to provide marketing funnels for their clients.

I help marketing agencies like CaseWave set up automated sales funnels to increase their conversion rates and profits.

For example, I recently increased {competitor}’s conversion rate by 400% in 2 months.

I know this is out of the blue, but I’m halfway through finishing a case study on this project, should I send it your way once it’s finished?

Cheers from L.A.,

Kevin

 

Now, what do you think about this? Let us know by sending an email. If you think we did a good job, share this with 2 people who also send cold emails.

Happy cold emailing,

Jeremy and Jack

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